Solar Power isn't Feasible!

Solar Power isn't Feasible!
This cartoon was on the cover of the book "SolarGas" by David Hoye. It echoes the Sharp Solar slogan "Last time I checked nobody owned the sun!"

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Conversations with God: A Solar Parable

And the Lord did put a nuclear reactor in the Heavens, and He did place it a safe distance from His beloved Creation, so that it might power and sustain them.

And He called it "Shamesh" -- the Sun -- and it was GOOD.

And lo, he did put the Earth on a Timer, each Cubit facing the heavenly radiation for a measured time only, and He did make the timer so reliable that the stupidist of his Creation could predict the rising of the radiant reactor, to unfurl their leaves and bask or crow their morning satisfaction, and so that Men could set their watches thereby.

And he called the received radiant dose "a Day".

And it was really GOOD.

And lo, the Lord did say unto Mankind: "Go forth and use of this nuclear reactor that I hath created unto you, that you may be fruitful, and grow fruit, and multiply, and do long division and subtract. For this guiding star sends it's sacred particle-wave emissions toward you at the constant speed of 299,792,458 metres per second, which We shall call "c". And it will create and sustain all life.

"But when thou dost multiply, do be fruitful, and prudent, and do not make use of the equation that multiplies c by m after squaring c to produce E on earth (except in research universities), for this equation belongs in the Heavens, and not on the earth where it will do much mischief.

"And that would be BAD. "

And Man did ask, "But why then, heavenly Father, hast thou buried in our Earth and given unto us the heaviest elements, likened unto Uranium, where from we might obtain E through squaring c and multiplying m? And while we're at it, Lord, what about those dinosaur bones?"

And did the Lord say, "I did indeed give unto you the unstable elements that thou might labor in laboratories and assemble teams of rocket scientists who would understand how to apply the sacred equation when such time came as you would grow up and leave your earthly womb and travel through the spaces where I placed no nuclear reactors.

To cross these voids you will need to make your own small stars until you are safe once again in my heavenly cradles of creation.

But THOU SHALT NOT create suns where I have created suns, for they belong a safe distance from my sons and daughters and the others of my Creation, and their life giving rays are to be received in such measured doses that the mutation rate conforms to my rate of creation through evolution.

As for the dinosaurs, I placed them there to test the faith of people who are too blind to understand that God created Evolution. Deal with it."

And Man did say, "but Lord how are we to make use of a nuclear reactor that WE cannot control whose instantaneous output can be reduced by floating water vapor, just when the superbowl is on, and whose radiance falls on the land of other tribes when we are most in need of a cappuccino and power for our surround sound home theater systems?"

And the Lord did speak thus:

"If your best and brightest minds (particularly those of your small children, if you would let them think and express themselves instead of sending them to your penitentiary-like schools) cannot figure out how to make use of the radiation from a relatively safe nuclear reactor in the heavens of a planet that has already been engineered to capture all of its output in the form of light, heat, wind, biomass, thermal mass, ocean currents and falling water, what hope have ye to make proper use of a reactor in your back yard that emits merely foolish quantities of heat along with persistent and deadly toxins while making the very matter that contains it unstable? You toy around with the dangerous and complex for simple purposes when you could more easily be using the safe and simple for complex purposes. You are certainly not ready to play God if you can't even make proper use of what God has put in play. Thus Spake Zarathustra!"

And the skies did tremble.

But Man, motivated by Nuclear Industry Shills with snake-skin briefcases did ask the Lord, in naivete: "But how Lord, if nuclear energy is 'not for commercial use', to make huge profits to satisfy our friend Mammon, with his giant Invisible Hand; how if we do not centralize power sources where we can control the supply to always be somewhat less than demand? Dids't Thou not create the laws of Economics, with all due respect. Sir. Hmm?"

To which the Lord did ponder why he made Man in the first place, a creature who believes more in snake-oil salesmen than their own Creator. And so He went off to one of his other Goldilocks "just-right" planets near Betelgeuse in the constellation Orion where people took him, and His Laws, more seriously and understood that God is always Just and Right.

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